real anger

*note - this deals with an issue that may not be appropriate for some folks. read with discretion*

Today I drove along with the sunrise up to the clinic to help out with prenatal check-ups. There were about 10 nursing students there to help out and help they did. Before the day started while they were in preclinical (at about 0730), I introduced myself and shared a bit of what we are about and why we do what we do. I also stressed the importance of breastfeeding, family planning, and how we are equals with those we serve. I asked them to sit beside the mom while they interview new patients so that they are participating in therapeutic communication. It's the little things that make the difference. I also asked them to refer to me any moms who indicated that they were planning to give formula to their baby.

There was one 16 year-old primip who looked older beyond her years who came for her first check-up at 7 months (most come around 12-20 weeks). The weight of the world was in her eyes. Now, most moms say they plan to mix feed their babies, such as when they go back to work or if they "don't have enough milk." This gal said she was planning to exclusively formula feed. WHAT?!? I gently asked why and she said her "mister" wanted her to. I had recently heard from a long time missionary doctor that sometimes the fathers don't want their wives/girlfriends/mistresses to breastfeed because it causes the milkbar to sag. So when I asked if she knew why her mister didn't want her to breastfeed, she just shrugged. I delicately (as delicate as one can be when asking this) asked if it was because he was afraid her breasts would sag and she hung her head and slowly nodded.

At this point I was ready to put my fist through the wall. Are you kidding me? This idiot of a schmuck would keep himself and his girlfriend poor, scrapping together money for formula, mixing it with non-potable water, risking malnutrition, disease, and developmental problems for the sake of delaying gravity? This guy is only 20 and most likely very uneducated. His friends have probably encouraged him to keep his girlfriend from breastfeeding as a matter of machismo. I had to remind myself that he is just as deserving of grace and education as his poor girlfriend.

I asked the girl if he was here and no, he wasn't. I explained to her the importance of breastfeeding and asked if perhaps I could share this with her boyfriend the next time she came for a check-up. She said she would ask him to come. I really hope and pray that he does. Will you pray with me? Before she left I made sure she understood that I wasn't upset with her and that we would work together for the best care of her baby.