The Need to Be Right

One thing that I have always struggled with is the need to right. Perhaps this comes from being the youngest and so often having to prove myself or perhaps this just comes from being human. If I'm right, I want everyone to know it, by gravy! It's not just enough for me to quietly to know that I'm right, everyone else needs to recognize that I'm right too.

It was a story by James Herriot that made me realize how much of a problem this is for me. Dr Herriot was a country vet in Yorkshire, England back in the post-war era (that is, WW2). I've always loved his stories, such as Moses, the Kitten. In this latest story, he tells of Mr Pickersgill, a distinguished country farmer who loved to throw big words because he was edjumacated during his "college days," a two-week basic agricultural class at Leeds University. He called on Dr Herriot because his cows kept suffering from "them masticks." (Mastitis) The vet realizes that the cows are suffering because Mr Pickersgill is so forceful when he pulls on the teats to milk them. However, he can't tell the dignified man that without insulting his intellect. Then he realizes that Mr Pickersgill is suffering from lumbago, a painful back condition that is caused by bending over to milk the cows. In a moment of brilliance, Dr Herriot suggests that perhaps his should stop milking the cows to stop the pain and leave it to his daughter, NOT to cure the cows' mastitis. Mr Pickersgill happily agrees, but suggests he try a cream his beloved professor back from his "college days" recommended to help his cows. Dr Herriot knows it won't work, but rather than insult this man, he is willing to let him believe that the harmless cream is what solved the mastitis and not the traumatic milking of Mr Pickersgill.

This would be like swallowing straight apple cider vinegar for me. I would have a hard time letting someone else believe they were right, and yet it is my own pride that wants to be recognized. In Dr Herriot's story, the man's dignity is saved and his cows are cured of their recurrent mastitis. I admire that and need to work on that more in my own life...especially when I am dealing with more experienced nurses/midwives and also dealing with cultural differences between me and my patients.

PS - if you ever get a chance to read some of Dr Herriot's writings, do! They are loads of fun...great mind resting books. :)

Must be some sort of record!

I don't know the record for how many prenatal check-ups Shalom has done in a single morning, but we must have been close today. 141 ladies. That's right...141 blood pressures, 141 fundal heights, 141 fetal heart tones, 141 weights...yikes! Praise God we had some very welcome guests to help with the blood tests of about 40-50 of those ladies so I could go and help check these ladies out to speed things along. And then of course we had a delivery of a sweet new life in the midst of it all. :)

In other news, one of my sending churches, Whittier Area Community Church, sent out 25 handmade baby quilts to be given to the needy moms. We pair these with donated baby clothes and this gift means a lot to the families. Most likely, this is the first real quilt these women have ever seen and will become a treasure.

If you are interested in how you can do something like this, such as sending blankets, used baby clothes, and other items needed at the clinic like IV cannulas, please send me a message through the tab above or write me an email. :)

As usual, here are some photos!

La Familia!

The very much anticipated day of August the 4th finally arrived, my brother, his wife, and their three kids FINALLY arrived in the Philippines for their pre-field visit. This is the brother that we always knew would want to come back to the Philippines as a missionary (I was the surprise sibling who decided to come back). We eagerly grabbed some balloons, a bouquet of flowers for my sister-in-law, and headed to the airport.
So. Much. Fun. We've had a blast reminiscing with my brother and showing his family the country that is such a key part of our family. While they're here for over two weeks, we only get to spend a few days with them as the purpose of their visit is determine what their roles will be at Home of Joy and not play with us the whole time.
But it's been SO good to get squishees, kisses, and extra long hugs.
Please pray for them as they seek the Lord on how He will use them in their areas of expertise. Home of Joy is an orphanage that is highly respected by the Dept of Social Welfare but could use some help in the area of behavioral therapy and getting the kids caught up developmentally after much abuse and trauma. (My brother is a behavioral specialist and my SIL is a Christian educator. Both trained at Biola.)
Here are some pics from their first three days:

Meeting at the airport!
(that is the string to a balloon around my niece's wrist)

Playing at the new pool of our alma mater, Faith Academy

A visit to the largest American War Cemetery outside of the USA

Holding the hand of mannequin wearing traditional Filipina formal wear

Life changes a little bit

I've learned a new acronym: TIP. In the movie "Blood Diamonds," they use the phrase TIA, which means This Is Africa as an explanation for things that just don't make sense to an American mind. The same applies to TIP: This Is the Philippines. Now, some of the things don't necessarily have to do with culture or frustrations...but there are times that it just hits me in unexpected ways that I'm not living in Southern California anymore. For example:

• Being delighted by the fireflies dancing about INSIDE my bedroom as I nod off to sleep
• Watching my housemates' cats pounce on the 20-30 termites flying around my living room while I try to read
• Trying to figure out how in the world to line-dry my clothes when it rains for days on end
• Getting frustrated with local farmers using the national 2-lane highways to dry their rice, causing countless near-accidents while trying to avoid driving through their only livelihood

A missionary friend is trying to teach the locals about crop spacing by carefully spacing corn in order to yield larger crops. One local said, "Wow! Those ears are HUGE," after seeing the beautiful results. After explaining why they were so big, she just shakes her head and says, "Just imagine how many you could have gotten if you'd planted more in that space!" Sometimes you just have to laugh and say, T.I.P.

Nordstroms?

It's time for another update...past time.

I moved out closer to the birthing home last week and have been scurrying around trying to set up a house, from buying a fridge (called a "ref" here), waste baskets, toilet paper, and the like. Though I couldn't bring myself to buy rags...too much of an oxymoron. Things are slowly coming together and it's feeling more like a home. Curtains are next.

One young gal at the clinic broke my heart. Jing* is just 21 and expecting her first. I was preparing to get a blood sample to test her hematocrit when she asks me in flawless English, "Are you from the US?" Surprised after speaking only Tagalog to her, I switched to English and said yes.
"California?" Again, yes.
"Why?" I ask.
"I used to live in Irvine*."
My jaw dropped as I stared at her. To my knowledge, we've never had a patient who has lived abroad! Turns out she was living with her father, uncle, and aunt. She got a job at Nordstroms* and was adjusting to life in the US when her uncle started making advances at her and eventually abused her. When she confronted her aunt about it, her aunt denied it and she was forced to leave the US and return here. Her family has shamed her because she failed to survive in the US and now she is staying with her new boyfriend, who is the father of her baby, barely eeking a living. So much hurt.
We had 3 Master's College girls with us during this day, 2 who are studying Biblical Counseling. I asked them to speak with Jing as they are her age and just came from California. I was so thankful for them! They were able to spend far more time with Jing than I could have.
You can bet I'll be watching for this sweet girl for her future visits. Would you pray for her?

The presentation at GCF regarding the building project went really well and I'm trusting the Lord to move in the hearts of those who heard.

To those in the USA, happy Fourth of July! I hope you enjoy the long weekend and yummy grub! :)

(*names changed for obvious reasons*)

urgent prayer request!

A couple of weeks ago, we submitted a funding request to a large church in Manila where several of us attend. This was specifically for the building project (I hate that word, makes me thing of yet another mega church building an even bigger monstrosity!)

Anyways, it was very well received and two of us (Ruth Ortiz and me) have been asked to speak in all four services THIS SUNDAY, inviting the congregation to join our project through funds, volunteers, and of course prayer. We'll be showing a video and then speaking for about 3 minutes. This is incidentally missions Sunday as well.

I'm really excited about this opportunity because it's Filipinos helping Filipinos. I love that. The money for this ministry doesn't all have to come from the US, Canada, England, etc... There IS money here, and I really hope that we can get the local church excited about this ministry.

Please, please, please pray that it is well received. There is no realistic way to portray how desperately we need the new building...just try to imagine 120 prenatal check-ups in 6 hours with a couple deliveries tossed in there...all in ONE SMALL LIVING ROOM! You know that unpleasant feeling of sweat running down your chest or standing up from a chair and feeling like you sat in a puddle of water because your pants are wet from sweat? Yeah...we need that new building.

Who makes the decision?

One of the things that I've discovered, especially since working at the birthing home, is that in this culture (and apparently most South Asian cultures) the mother-in-law rules the roost, big time. If a mother-in-law tells her son's daughter that she needs to wear socks for the first 3 months after giving birth so she doesn't catch a chill and get sick, she doesn't question, she obeys. Or that she's too stressed out and her breastmilk is spoiled so she needs to formula feed, she obeys. Or that evil spirits might enter the baby through it's umbilical cord stump if it's not tightly wrapped with a belly-band, she obeys.
I don't want to give the impression that mother-in-laws are evil, because they're not. But they are mostly uneducated and uninformed. Tradition is truth and fixed.
In a recent article by the Royal College of Midwives, a Nepali midwife conducted a survey and discovered the same thing. The mother-in-law makes all the decisions, including the need for prenatal care, the household jobs that must be done while being pregnant, who delivers the baby, and much more.
Often the very young moms at our clinic come with their mother-in-law. This actually makes me very excited! It means I can respectfully teach the new mom with the "old" mom. I try to always ask if the mother-in-law breastfed her kids and for how long, who delivered her babies, and if SHE has any questions for me. These are my favorite teaching times because I feel like there's a better chance that what I teach might make a difference.
It's amazing to me how much CULTURE influences healthcare. I could have all the right training and techniques, but unless I am able to successfully put it into the correct culture context, it's useless. I'm so thankful I have 18 years logged in this culture, but at the same time I'm very much aware that I have much more to learn!