Saturday, January 15, 2011

Is it really time? turn in my two weeks notice? Wow, it feels like a speeding bullet train racing towards me. The end, that is. For so long this new journey has seemed like a goal, a vision, but so far from reality. (Sick of this theme for the blog yet?)

I was planning to turn in my two weeks notice tomorrow at the hospital where I work, but then realized that it's a holiday and even though I will be working, most of America will not, including the HR department. So that inevitable event is postponed a day.

Am I sad that this day has come? Absolutely. A big part of me is grieving. This was my very first hospital job and I absolutely love it. Every day I come home a slightly wiser and more experienced nurse, with GREAT stories! No two patients are alike and yet I can relate to *nearly* all of them on some sort of personal level. I am very confident in my skills and my responsibilities. I know what I'm doing. I've made excellent friends in my coworkers and we have great respect for one another. If I have questions, I know exactly where to go to get answers. I know my place at work...there's very little uncertainly with my job. People like me and know my quirks. In other words, I'm comfortable in the nurse I have become. I am very sad to leave that.

What faces me is a lot of uncertainty. Who am I to tell a mom how to breastfeed her child? I'm not a mom and have never done it myself? I don't know Filipino diseases very well. My medical Tagalog is shaky. I'm a young whipper-snapper to many of the folks there. There will be some very real challenges in proving myself not only to them, but also to me! It's nerve-wracking, and if I were facing this alone, I would be crazy and scared spitless. However, I cling to the promise that I'm not alone (Matt 28:20). That in my weakness, God's strength will be made perfect (2 Cor 12:9). And that when I started as a new hospital nurse 2 years ago, I was in similar circumstances, and yet look how far I've come. God is good. And through Christ alone, I can do this.

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